What I Aspire to Do

 I recently decided with the encouragement of my very loyal husband, to go private on our family blog "Happy Shining People". Too much information and too personal of thoughts to be out there for the worldwide web to see and to judge. Getting emotionally naked is not hard for me to do, however when it comes to some rather deep, raw and vulnerable subjects of our life, it felt only appropriate to close the curtains a bit and what a relief that has been. Certainly if I know who you are… you are welcome to an invitation, just let me know.

With that said, I have really felt conflicted about this topic for a long time. I’ve vacillated back and forth for the past couple of years and finally did it, and though it felt so right  I  still felt unsettled about it.  I felt prompted that maybe that was not all. With the little writing I have done for the More Good Foundation and Mormon Woman, I really understand the need and feel strongly about the importance of there being a positive presence out there in the cyber world. I personally feel a certain level of responsibility, even though I am one single solitary person, sharing one story and  possibly a UN-influential person, I can STILL share my faith, my love, my inspiration and my testimony of my Savior Jesus Christ.  Even if for just for one person to read and be edified as a result, it would be worth my time and energy. President Monson says "Once we have a testimony, it is incumbent upon us to share that testimony with others."   So this blog has come back to life, for that purpose.  

I fear I have spent far more time as of late seeking inspiration rather than doing any measurable inspiring, sad but true. There are a few sites I frequent (if I’m lucky, daily:) to get inspired. Some days, with all the turbulence around our globe and in our country, it feels overwhelming, like the dark clouds are rolling in to stay, but then, just as I am about to shiver with a frosty unease for kind of world that lies ahead for my family and my young children, the shadowy clouds get pushed aside by the powerful rays of good sun. In that moment, I remember in the end, the honorable and virtuous in the world will prevail, and I am clothed in peace yet again. There is still so much good, all over the world and I see that everyday and am grateful. I pray daily that those promoting good and doing good, will keep their fires burning bright, if for no other reason than so that others can warm their hands by the fire of their faith.    

We truly live in a day and age of convenient intelligence. It is quite a spectacular thing to be able to share, so much, so quickly, with so many people. It seems, everyone is connected virtually to one extent or another, for better or for worse. Blogging for me is really just a exceptionally effective extension of what I have done my entire life, journaling. Through this process however, I’ve really had to examine my motives, my audience and be true to what I have felt prompted to pursue (or not pursue). There are undoubtedly things I “am” and things I “am not”. 

* I do not aspire to be a writer (well...ok… maybe one day), there are already SO many astonishing and brilliant writers out there,  I’m in awe on a daily basis. Some people I don't even know (yet) and I am flabbergasted at their gifts. The written word is SO powerful to me. (her and her and her and her and her and her)

* I don’t aspire to be a photographer, anyone with a good camera is a photographer these days and moreover I know too many great photographers to even desire to compete. (her and her and her and him)

* Though I love to cook and crave great food, right now….I really just want to sustain life. One day, when my kids are older and need me a little less, I’ll print a charming little book for my kids with our family recipes, which will be a special treasure for us.

* I do not search for or post attractive hairstyles or cutting edge fashion; I’m really too boring for that and besides we now all have Pinterest for that (thank goodness, I love that place). 

* I have no desire for high viewership or broad fan base;

*** I am simply a devoted wife and mom of 6 enormously beautiful people, with a spirit of fire inside. Loving life, loving what I learn from my small, daily victories and disappointments, encourages me to embrace the voice I have been given and the opportunity to share with those that care. 

This blog, Love Learning Life,  in its infancy was inspired by Randal Wrights “3 Word Journal” which I absolutely love BTW. From this point forward, this blog will become a little more than that. I intend to record publicly anything and everything that warms my soul, anything that inspires me or incites the spiritual flame inside me to do and be good. Because I know all to well how some days that flame feels little more than a flicker and I have needed to warm my hands on the warmth of others faith and courage to endure and keep learning. I wish to record lessons learned, inspiration received and ideas worth pondering. There are few things that resonate in my soul more than the divine offspring of learning to love life and that is precisely what I aspire to do. 

Elder M. Russell Ballard:

"The Lord, over the centuries, has had a hand in inspiring people to invent tools that facilitate the spreading of the gospel. The Church has adopted and embraced those tools, including print, broadcast media, and the Internet....Now, may I ask that you join the conversation by participating on the Internet to share the gospel and to explain in simple and clear terms the message of the Restoration." ("Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet," Ensign, July 2008, 58–63)

President Thomas S. Monson 

"May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe, and if we must stand alone in the process, may we do so courageously, strengthened by the knowledge that in reality we are never alone when we stand with our Father in Heaven"

Mom, Rodeo, Jacket

When I was a little girl I remember going to a rodeo with my mother. I have very few memories of this event but one particular act of selfless kindness resonates within me. I was roughly the age of 10. It was dark and cooling down fast. I was a tall waify kind of girl. Long lanky limbs with little internal padding to keep me insulated from the elements. I had brought a  little light weight jacket but was shivering and in typical childish fashion complaining about being cold. My mother without hesitiation took off her coat and wrapped it around me. As she tucked in the coat around me I realized she had only a short sleeved shirt on underneath. I knew she was cold but she never revealed it, so characteristic of my mom, tough as nails.  I remember feeling guilty about having her coat AND mine but being the juvenile I was, lacked the same selflessness disposition my mother had, to give her coat back.

This small and seemingly insignificant bleep in time revealed to me the power of showing your children at all times and even more importantly in the most inconvenient times that they are the most important things to you, even more so than a cost or being warm.  That cold rodeo night I felt loved by my mother and knew she wanted me to be happy and safe, even at her own expense.

I do not think we spend enough time sacrificing in behalf of those we love. Sacrificing BECAUSE we love them and not just because of them. There is a significant difference.  There are plenty of opportunities for me to sacrifice out of necessity but how often do I offer it up for the sake of love? In the end, that is all we have to offer and my sweet mother throughout my life has taught me that lesson on the importance of sacrifice.  I love you Mother Dear!

“It is not easy to give up our personal priorities and desires. . . . [But] ‘he who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity’ (Gordon B. Hinckley, Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [1997], 588).”

Ken, Trouble, Dad

Ken, Trouble, Dad
11/29/09
Written by Jerri (Johnson) Frehner - my mother

I was married and gone from home. When we would come home to my folks we would often sit around the kitchen table after dinner and visit for hours (Above: My Grandma and Grandpa Johnson in the kitchen of their Holden Utah home where my mother grew up). My father had told us that my younger teenage brother, Ken was out with his buddies that Saturday evening.  As the night grew later and Ken was not home, Dad began to express his concern for him and as the evening wore on, his concerns turned from concern, to frustration, then to anger.  He was becoming more and more verbal and rather harsh.  He was going to “ground that boy”, “take his truck away from him,” etc. Dad was really going to “give it to him” when he got home. There was no two ways about it!!

Ken walks through the door at about 1:00 a.m. as we are playing cards at the kitchen table. I was trembling with trepidation just anticipating the scolding that Ken was going to get. You can imagine my utter astonishment when my father simply said,  “How was your night, son?… You hadn’t ought to stay out this late again”.

I learned that night that sometimes our fear of “what if” or the unknown can cause us great anxiety and concern but with a little more thought and a calm reaction we can generally formulate a better response. Sometime you do not need to express every emotion and feeling. Taking a deep breath is a wise old adage.

      Jerri

Morning, Bathroom, Sisters

Morning, Bathroom, Sisters
11/29/09
Written by Jerri (Johnson) Frehner - my mother

Every morning around 5:30am Dad would open the stairway door to the basement and holler, “Girls, time to get up! Time to milk the cows”. Pam, Diane and I, being the oldest, were responsible for milking five cows morning and night. I remember especially the winter months when it was often very cold and snowing.  But off we would go, all bundled up to the cow barn.  Whoever finished first and poured their milk from bucket (adorned with custom glittered names) into the strainer on top of the milk can would make a mad dash to the bathroom to draw the first, nice warm, clean water for a 1st bath.  One tub of water served the entire family each morning. 

We lived in a nice red brick cottage style rambler with 4 bedrooms and one bath. Our little bathroom was truly that, little, which made it a rather tight squeeze in those early morning hours while 4 girls were primping for school.  Our bathroom had one shallow cast iron tub with a small sink, no counter space and one toilet. Mom had hung a (yet to find a better) back mirror to insure we didn’t leave the house with a “bed head” or worse yet a streak of cow tail remnants. I remember vividly and with some amazement at my age now, how cooperatively a family of 7 at the time could squeeze into that little bathroom, maneuvering around one another as to get that “just right” advantage in the mirrors. We sisters shared everything from bath water, hairbrushes, curlers, makeup, and even hand-me-down clothes with never a fuss, well almost!

I remember those days as being happy and peaceful, with feelings of cooperation and caring. These experiences and many others have shaped a life long bond and friendship with these wonderful women. I love them dearly!  As I look back on my life I have come to realize that one does not really need a lot of material things to get by and to be happy. It never occurred to us that Dad should install another bathroom or provide anything further for us. Though our circumstances were better than most at the time they were still challenging but we never complained and made it work with smiles on our faces and happy hearts. We were truly blessed with feelings of kindness, patience and selflessness, a meaningful lesson I will carry with me forever.

    Jerri

Great Grandpa, Johnson, Success

This is my Great Grandfather who I never knew. I guess I vague memory of him but I am not sure if it is imagined or real. This newspaper article I found about him is a 3 word story in and of itself so here you go. What did I learn from this Great Grandfather I never knew but my mother loved dearly? Well, there is a great deal I could learn from him but I quote from the last paragraph of the article which I found to be very inspiring.  "This mans philosophy could do much to help cure the worlds ill's: ' I love people - I believe I like every one I have ever met'."

Chuck, Socks, Pound

I had been raised with a little white fluffy “girly”dog breed, the Bischon Frishe. They were absolute perfect family dogs. Small, quiet, obedient, shedless, hypoallergenic, poops that disintegrated over night with the early morning lawn watering and were absolute joys to have in the family. So needless to say I was partial to this particular breed of dog and from the time I was an adult we have always had one for our family dog. My husband grew up with a dog but never fell in love with a particular breed, so naturally we had a Bischon.

Several years after we married we heard news of some free baby Chocolate Labradors that were being given away. At the time we already had a Bischon named Sara but my husband Ben had always wanted a big “manly dog”, the kind he could take to the beach and play Frisbee with (except we did not live near he beach) and he could take hunting (except he did not hunt) and would jog along side of him on his morning runs (except was not a jogger) and put in the back of his pickup (except he did not have a pickup). Ah, the wonderful life and glamour of having a big dog. We could see the future as the visions of big dog bliss danced through our minds. So we hustled in our van and headed out to meet our newest addition. We naturally fell in love with that...humm puppy breath. Those cute little velvety, silky brown pups were adorable. It were literally intoxicated, there is no other explanation because if we weren't we would have thought it through just a little, but instead we cuddled him up in my coat, “ooh’d” and “aah’d” and then hopped in our van and drove away. Oh, what fun we were going to have growing old with this cute little bundle of joy.

Several weeks later...

Chuck is home. He adjusted well. We had a cement slab poured and purchased a dog run and a cozy used dog house. He coped with neutering and that week of wearing a lap shade around his neck. He clearly enjoyed his voice as he incessantly barked, sang and howled all hours of the day and night. He had strange eating habits, dirty stray socks were his treat of choice. His poops were larger than we had anticipated even without the knotted up, half chewed sock in the remains.  He was very protective of us and even at times affectionately attacked those menacing missionaries. Poor confused little Chuck. We thought, we'd spend some money and get him trained, YES was is it! He needed to be properly trained, perhaps a little training will help convince Chuck that he is not the  “Alpha”, WE are and THEN  he will be our perfect beach dog. SO 800$ later and our dog trainer telling us he had never know a more aggressive lab, Chuck was still confused, perhaps us even more so.

Gradually Ben was came to the understanding that Chuck was not all that we had hoped for and wanted him to be. But neither was Ben a truck owning, beach going jogger, so everything was starting to be clear. He was also learning the joys and luxuries of small pets and maybe my perfect little “foo foo” dog wasn’t so bad after all. After months of frustration, lost socks, poop patrol, midnight muzzles and commitment to “get it right” we decided it was time to let him go. We said our goodbyes and Ben took him to the pound. We never found out what happened with our sweet little (well not so little) domineering dog but have high hopes he found a happy home, hopefully one where he could bark, eat socks, chase things and not be a bother to anyone.

What I learned from this experience is that making rash decisions rarely turns out the way you had hoped and having patience really pays off. There real is wisdom in holding out, studying it in your mind and in your heart, THEN make informed decisions. Had we thought it through, studied it out we would have come to know we could not care for a dog of that size and high demand.  Little decisions grow up to be big decisions; things are not always what they appear to be. Think before you act or maybe one day you will be out in the yard doing chores, collecting partly digested socks too.

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"Strive to increase your knowledge of all that is virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy. Seek knowledge, by study and also by faith. Seek with a humble spirit and contrite heart. As you apply the spiritual dimension of faith to your study—even of temporal things—you can amplify your intellectual capacity, for “if your eye be single to [God’s] glory, your whole [body] shall be filled with light, … and [comprehend] all things." Dieter F. Uchtdorf

JV Elementary, Walk, Hill

Jacks Valley Elementary or AKA Jacks Valley Penitentiary, what we youngsters affectionately called it. The building was soild concrete, it had no windows to speak of and had a lovely chain link fence that adorned the property boundaries, by all account and purposes it felt and looked like a correctional facility. THAT is were I had the privilege of attending  grade school in the heart of Jacks Valley Nevada. 


Our school was a couple miles away from our home so generally I was bused to and from school or on rare occasion was picked up and had always been given firm instructions to never walk home from school. The only way to get home from school was to travel west up the hill on Jacks Valley Road towards the next valley where our house was on the outskirts of John Ascuaga Ranch. It was a precariously narrow road, with heavy traffic and shallow steep shoulders and was no place for young kids to be traveling by foot.   

One very average day at school a young boy named Brandon who lived near me told me of a short cut home and asked if I wanted to join him and his sister.  I was not a fan of the bus ride home, it was loud, long and dirty. The neighborhoods we scoured prior to our bus stop were on rough dirt roads filling the inside of the bus with thick dust clouds which covered my body with an ever so thin layer of sand. I was displeased with the grit stuck in my teeth upon arriving home SO needless to say Brandon's offer to teach me a short cut that could get me home sooner and much cleaner, had my juvenile interest peeked. 


Jacks Valley Road going west towards our home was carved between two rather large hills or small mountains. My enthusiastic, confident and seemingly brilliant friend assured me that walking over the giant hill behind the school and ran parallel to the road, was the sure bet. I was hesitant but overcome with excitement and eagerly agreed to the adventure. I warned him I would be "busted" if I wasn't home on time. Again he was thoroughly convincing that we would be home before the bus. I rationalize because my mother had always threatened us that if we missed the bus in the morning we would have to walk to school and we were not going to be traveling via Jacks Valley Road, so I thought "what the heck, it could not possibly be THAT bad". 

I could hardly wait for the day to come to an end. I was in part, exhilarated at the thought of doing precisely what I was told not to do and the thought of ditching the bus was a hugh relief.  "Ding, ding" the school bell rang, concluding our school day. I skipped out to the play ground to meet Brandon and his sister. We had to leisurely lolly-gag around so as to not call any attention to ourselves. The playground was speckled with military style school attendants watching for any mischief.  We covertly cut through the playground to the back fence were we wiggled our way past the school property and escaped out of sight. We were off! Oh, such excitement! We were certified explorers, as we trekked we found dirty gas bottles, counted jack rabbits, inspected decaying dear carcasses, antlers, snake holes, old clothes and all manner of garbage. After about 45 minutes of climbing I realized my backpack was heavy, my knees weak, my stomach hungry and the adrenaline was wearing off. There were deep shadows beginning to form as the sun was beginning to approach the BIG mountains ahead of us which meant sunset was near. I was getting cautious and nervous that I would be in "mega trouble" when I got home but was continually assured with determination that we were "almost there" so I carried on knowing we were past the point of no return. From the vantage point of the school playground what looked like a big hill was really a small mountain with an impressive steep grade. 1 1/2 hours later... we were approaching the crest and the sun had hid itself behind the majestic mountains. There was still a little light, just enough glowing in the sky for us to find out way to his house. Upon getting to his home, 3 hours from the time school got out, I was exhausted but also filled with nervous energy preparatory to calling my most certainly angry and worried mother to tell her where I was.  


Sure enough I was "busted"... busted in a big way. My mother was very worried and disappointed that I had not done what I was told to do, but relieved I was safe and unharmed. That was truly a blessing.


I learned some (many) big lessons that day. WHAT I LEARNED 

* Is that when you KNOW what is right you should DO what is right not matter how confident and convincing the argument is to do otherwise. Do not be disillusioned. 
* Often times sin, in this case can be seen either as disobedience or the hill itself,  seems small and inconsequential or minor but in reality the effects are largely unknown and much more devastating than ever anticipated.  
* Sometimes doing the right (taking the bus) is not always fun or pleasurable... you might get dirty and be asked to do hard things but the reward will come and if nothing else the peace of mind knowing you have chosen the right is a gift in and of itself. 
* Remember Nephi's promise that those who hold fast to the iron rod “would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction” (1 Nephi 15:24) 
* The adversary (in this case Brandon) is cunning, convincing, educated, crafty, and enthusiastic in influencing us to disobey the commandments that have been given to us that will keep us happy and safe.  Be prayerful in life to be able to discern and not be led astray or overpowered unto blindness. 
* Lastly, most people do not always have your best interest in mind, so you must know who you are and govern yourself according to the spirit. 

“As we walk in obedience to the principles and commandments of the gospel of Jesus Christ, we enjoy a continual flow of blessings promised by God in His covenant with us. Those blessings provide the resources we need to act rather than simply be acted upon as we go through life.” D. Todd Christofferson, “The Power of Covenants,” Ensign, May 2009, 21

"Every time in my life when I have chosen to delay following inspired counsel or decided that I was an exception, I came to know that I had put myself in harm's way. Every time that I have listened to the counsel of prophets, felt it confirmed in prayer, and then followed it, I have found that I moved toward safety. Along the path, I have found that the way had been prepared for me and the rough places made smooth. God led me to safety along a path which was prepared with loving care, sometimes prepared long before." Henry B. Eyring, "Finding Safety in Counsel, Ensign," May 1997, 24–25

"We live at a time when the adversary is using every means possible to ensnare us in his web of deceit, trying desperately to take us down with him. May you constantly nourish your testimonies that they might be a protection to you against the adversary." Thomas S. Monson "Until We Meet Again

"We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements." Robert D. Hales "Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually"